Dads' Advice on Fatherhood - Part 4: Pray with them

In addition to praying for our children, fathers I spoke to emphasised the importance of taking time to pray with them both as a family and as a wider community (at church).

"Always say your prayers together as a family.  After that it is all in God's hands." 

"Keep going to Mass with him.   If he's anything like my kids, he might get bored and rebel a bit. We always made our kids go, and now they like going.....which is good!"

"Pray WITH your son before and after he is old enough to understand."  "You two should pray together and also with your wife."  "A boy should know from an early age that real men pray and to experience this."

"When you pray with your son be real.  Don't use baby language - this is serious and vital for him to learn at an early age." 

"Pray with him daily and together seek God's will for him in his life." 

"As father and head of the family, lead the family in the daily family Rosary-the family that prays together stays together."

"Pray with him morning and night and read to him everyday from the Word."

"Pray with your son every day even before he's born. It’s not too early! This is not just for him, but also for you and your wife. Get into the habit. It needn’t be long, but it should be regular. And consistent. When they get older, make it a habit. Pray before every meal. Pray the rosary with the family, and supplement it with spontaneous prayer as well."

Dads' Advice on Fatherhood - Part 3: Pray for them

The fathers that I asked advice with regard to being a father were all Christians and so it is not surprising that prayer for the child was one of the top pieces of advice.

"Pray by yourself, and pray with your wife, too. Together, you are the Body of Christ. But a body operates best when each part is in unison with each other.  We cannot be true Christians – truly Christ-like – if we are not in community with other believers."

"Pray for your child every day – prayers of protection, prayers of blessing, and prayers of wisdom (for you – as to how to best parent your son).  Prayer is the greatest gift that you can give your son.  Pray for him every day, and as he grows older and understands, pray with him, and when he first starts going to school – hold him / put hands on him – and pray for him as he leaves for school.  And while I don’t do it every day (due to travel and sometimes just being behind schedule as we get ready in the morning) – I try to pray with and for each of my four children every morning before they head off to school – it is mostly a quick 30 sec to 1 min prayer – a time of individual prayer – just me and one of them – they love it (and miss it and even ask for it if we miss a day or two) and they need it – so start it off young and make it a tradition."

Father Larry Richards makes the point strongly as always.  He asks men if they would die to protect their wives and children from an attacker.  He then says, "The world, the flesh and the devil are attacking your children.  You must pray - and say - if you want to attack them you better come through me."  He made the point that a father is the priest of a family interceding for them before God.

One father made the point, "Your son was His son before he was yours.  The Father will listen to a Dad who prays protection over his son as it is most clearly following His will.  Pray for him daily to be protected from all that might harm him, to get to know Jesus Christ and grow to be a man of compassion"

Dads' Advice on Fatherhood - Seven things to know

When my son was born almost two weeks ago he didn't come with an instruction manual - foreseeing this, I took the precaution of asking a dozen Christian fathers whom I respect, their advice on daddyhood and the following were overwhelmingly the strongest responses I received.

Seven things to know about being a Dad to a son (according to amazing Dads I know) -

1.  Protect your marriage: Love your wife and make her, not just your child your priority after Christ.

2.  Unconditional love: Reassure your child of your unconditional love regularly and let him know you're proud of him.

3.  Pray for them: Spend time alone and with your wife and other friends praying for your child.

4.  Pray with them: Make time where possible to pray with each child individually or as a family.

5.  Set a good example: Be the man you wish your child to be. Children will naturally love their mothers but copy their fathers.

6.  Discipline: Set boundaries, ensure he knows what is and isn't acceptable.

7.  Authenticity: Be real - don't pretend - apologise when you screw up.


I treasure the advice that these people shared with me - some of it surprised me and some didn't - but  these are real men whom I have seen guiding and actively taking a part in their children's lives - and had the generosity and courage to share their views with me.

All of the above will soon turn into links where I share in greater depth what was shared with me but in the meantime I shall leave you with "I've been watching you" by Rodney Atkins which illustrates all seven of the above but especially setting an example and prayer: YouTube: I've been Watching You 

Puer natus est

A child is born! I am delighted that our son, Joseph was born on Sunday. 

Since my wife and I found out we have a child almost nine months ago we were filled with joy - but also worries, concerns and had lots of practical issues to think and pray about. 

We chose the name Joseph for our son as we thought that no one could be a greater example of a virtuous, virile man than Saint Joseph, husband of Mary and incidentally, patron saint of China. 

Virtuous and virile - two words that come from the word "vir" meaning man. I pray that he will be blessed and strengthened in every way and that he will become the child and man that God wants him to be. 

Please pray for my wife's health and for Joseph to grow strong and for me to get my priorities right - Christ, then my wife, then my son - with self last. 

Protecting the gift within

I was reflecting and thanking God recently for my amazing wife and the love she shows not only to me but to our unborn son. 

Since we knew we were expecting a child, my wife has avoided any food or drink that might harm our baby and actively taken steps each day to protect and strengthen him. She avoids situations that might stress him and speaks to him regularly throughout the day. She will take extra care to have food and supplements that help our baby even if they cause her discomfort. 

My thoughts are that all of us in a state of grace have an amazing gift within us. Do I take as much care of that grace within me as my wife does for our son?

My wife's example challenged me to do everything possible to remain in a state of grace: weekly confession and Mass, daily examination of conscience, regular conversational prayer with Christ and to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to me any areas of unforgiveness within that is preventing me from living a grace filled life. 

Scripture itself speaks powerfully of the link between confession and efficacious prayer: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) When we remain in a state of grace we can powerfully impact our families by our prayer - being the leaders our wives and children need. 

As I pray for and give thanks for my wife and son, I should also do the same for the great gift of grace and ask God to protect the gift within. 

Remember gentlemen ...

... Real Men Pray the Rosary

I have to confess that I didn't really pray the rosary much at all until my fiancée, who had just become Catholic received one from me and a couple of others as a gift.  She had been trained in prayer (extremely well) by her former non-denominational (but basically Pentecostal) Christian community in intercessory prayer and once she started using the rosary was amazed at how powerful this is.

On my wedding day a good friend of mine who had been through a number of ups and downs in his life said that the blessings he had received all coincided with when he had been praying the rosary.  Since that time I have prayed this daily - often whilst walking or travelling on the train (or when the priest preaches in Cantonese at our local traditional Mass) - and strongly recommend it.

In this month of the Holy Rosary, how about we start with at least one decade and take the time to meditate on the mysteries and apply these to our daily lives.  Our Lady of Victories - pray for us!