IF - for Catholics

The poem "IF" penned by Rudyard Kipling is my favourite secular piece of writing in the English language. Every father should teach this to their sons if they want them to become real men. The poem reinforces true manly virtues of strength, forgiveness, humility in times of triumph and resilience when disaster strikes. 

With apologies to Kipling, I have attempted to rewrite this poem for my fellow Catholics, to remind myself and anyone who might read this, that in this life we make choices - and they have eternal consequences:

If you can keen the faith when all about you,

Are losing theirs and sometimes mocking you;

If you can trust Our Lord when others doubt Him,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can love those who treat you with derision, 

In person, or on a blog, online

Say a rosary, don't cause more division

Pray to bless them especially at that time. 

If you can pray, giving glory to Our Father

If you can think of Him with salvation as your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

But glorify Him throughout all the same 

If you can bear to hear the Faith be spoken

Of, derided by the ignorant and the fool

Or the Church, Christ gave His life for, body broken,

Mocked, but calmly defend her, keeping cool. 

If you can genuflect when He's before you,

If you bow your head at the Holy Name;

While others disrespect Him and laugh at you,

Although no one else will do the same;

If you can't bear to know the grace you're given

Was lost, by just one mortal sin,

Then respond, quickly seek to be forgiven,

Be absolved, a life of grace again begin;

If you can surf the web yet keep your virtue, 

Or write a blog, yet not lose the common touch;

If the plight of the unborn and those in poverty moves you,

If you help them out, but no one knows too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With prayer 'til anger's at an end;

Yours is true life - and graces without limit,

And what is more, you'll get to heaven my friend.    

(With apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

Sunshine award

I was delighted to hear that I was awarded the Sunshine Blog award from both Jackie Parkes and Richard Collins. 

One of my duties shall be to nominate ten other blogs which I shall do in a few days time. My other solemn duty to share ten things about myself on this blog. This doesn't come easy to me but here goes:

1.  I believe and profess all that the holy Catholic Church teaches, believes and proclaims to be revealed by God.  

2. I am a sinner, aware of my need for God's grace and wouldn't go more than a week without Confession if possible and receive the Eucharist several times a month. 

3.  I have a beautiful, loving and patient wife who encourages me to be the man I am and respects me as the head of our family under Christ. I am passionately in love with this woman, my best friend, and mother of my young son. 

4.  I'm not entirely sure who reads this blog and always appreciate feedback but made two choices: never to give my name and to refrain from needlessly criticising any other person. I hope to share thoughts, amuse and possibly inspire other people - not bring them down. 

5.  I'm an Englishman whose lived in two foreign countries: Wales and Hong Kong (where I grew in appreciation of English traditions, rugby and cricket respectively) and have been fortunate enough to have worked in and / or visited five continents and ovee 50 countries including the Holy Land and what is left of the Papal States. 

6.  Although born in the 1970s, I feel more at home worshipping at a (Tridentine) Latin Mass and once had various internet trolls threatening to have me burnt at the stake as a heretic when I wrote a spoof article wanting a more meaningful liturgy and concluding that the old rite is what is needed. Sadly, Damian Thompson, removed the death threats from the blog, which I rather enjoyed. 

7. I was once threatened with excommunication by Cardinal Basil Hume when I told him that I hoped Anglican prayers would be more efficacious for about 90 minutes when it had been reported that he and the ArchMinister of Canterbury were to attend the FA Cup final together cheering and praying for Newcastle and Arsenal respectively. 

8.  I spent a year as a seminarian and later a year as a novice monk at Ampleforth. Although neither were to be my vocation I treasure those times and the friends I made at each. I should pray for vocations more often than I do. 

9.  I was once hugged by a lady Anglican minister who was concerned that I wouldn't like her because she's a woman and I reassured her that I believe that her ordination is just as valid as her male counterparts. 

10. I believe in genuine ecumenism, but it has to based on the highest, not the lowest, common denominator. Anglican, Protestant and Orthodox friends have all encouraged me in my faith and despite being a Papist and a layman, have spoken at several Protestant churches in Hong Kong. I prefer faithful non Catholic Christians who genuinely seek God and to liberal Catholics who water down the faith any day. 

Dads' Advice on Fatherhood: Part 7 - Authenticity

The many different fathers I spoke to about fatherhood shared so many different  pieces of advice with me but some also made it clear that they themselves have often failed to live up to their own advice.

"I realise the importance of prayer but to be honest, I've sometimes been too lazy or not been organised with my time." 

"It's so important to set a good example but my sons have seen me miserable, short tempered, use foul language and speak disrespectfully to their mother."

Authenticity doesn't mean that we make mistakes and think that this is acceptable but it does mean recognising these and of course asking forgiveness.  Catholics and Orthodox Christians have the Sacrament of Reconciliation but in addition to seeking God's forgiveness and that of our wives, a number of fathers said that there may be times when we need to apologise to our children.

"I mentioned example to you earlier but sometimes you will fail - when you do, do not hesitate to admit this and apologise.  They will learn to be authentic when you are."

"Try your best, with God's grace ... It is much easier than done, and I fail many times as well.  But the rewards I get from loving my wife and kids without condition is what drives everything in me."

I have mentioned Father Larry Richards before and do so again as his encouragement to men is so powerful - he states that we should recognise that we will never be the fathers our children need but only God is their true Father - we should recognise our shortcomings, strive to the best men we can be and apologise every time we fall.

Become a saint or go to Hell

Do not watch this video.

Do not watch this video unless you're prepared to be challenged and changed:

Fr Larry Richards - Powerful Men's Conference Speech

Fr Larry Richards is like a spiritual coach who drives men to the next level. He  reminds me of Mickey in the Rocky films - screaming at him to get up when he's knocked over, battered, bruised and bloodied. 

You may not be brave enough to watch this but I hope that if you do, you will find it uncomfortable - and in the same way that Rocky was exhausted but somehow got up and fought another round - you seize the moment and allow these strong words to impact your life. 

Fr Larry is hard hitting, the words are strong and he doesn't hold back - if you don't have an hour right now just watch the last ten minutes. 

His message to men? Become a saint - or go to Hell. 

Protecting the gift within

I was reflecting and thanking God recently for my amazing wife and the love she shows not only to me but to our unborn son. 

Since we knew we were expecting a child, my wife has avoided any food or drink that might harm our baby and actively taken steps each day to protect and strengthen him. She avoids situations that might stress him and speaks to him regularly throughout the day. She will take extra care to have food and supplements that help our baby even if they cause her discomfort. 

My thoughts are that all of us in a state of grace have an amazing gift within us. Do I take as much care of that grace within me as my wife does for our son?

My wife's example challenged me to do everything possible to remain in a state of grace: weekly confession and Mass, daily examination of conscience, regular conversational prayer with Christ and to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to me any areas of unforgiveness within that is preventing me from living a grace filled life. 

Scripture itself speaks powerfully of the link between confession and efficacious prayer: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) When we remain in a state of grace we can powerfully impact our families by our prayer - being the leaders our wives and children need. 

As I pray for and give thanks for my wife and son, I should also do the same for the great gift of grace and ask God to protect the gift within. 

One in ten

This afternoon at Mass in the older form of the Roman rite I was moved by the Gospel reading about the people with leprosy cured by Our Lord. 

My baptismal patron saint is St Damien the Belgian priest who gave his life to minister to those with leprosy and famously began his preaching one day, "We lepers..."

The deacon at Mass today spoke of the analogy comparing leprosy with sin - how both can be cured by Christ and about gratitude. 

I try to go to confession weekly and do mutter a word of thanks to Christ afterwards for dying on the cross for my sins but am I really like the one in ten? 

Am I like the cured leper who praised God and ran back to thank Jesus or am

I usually like the nine. Cured but not transformed within. The leprosy removed but without a burning desire to praise and thank God?

Leaving Mass today, having received the Eucharist "thanksgiving" I recalled the words that we should "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18) and with a greater determination that I should be like the one in ten: transformed and grateful.