Confusion and clarity - my first ever Latin Mass

I was a child growing up in the 1970s but it wasn't until the early 80's that I attended my first Latin Mass, aged 12. 

It was out of curiosity and due to my love of history that led me to attend this Mass - offered according to what is now known as the older form of the Roman Rite. 

Soon after Mass started, I was overwhelmed by the beauty and timeliness of the music. The choir started chanting the Asperges and I was transfixed. My dad showed me his Missal that had the English alongside the Latin and I could sing along with this and understand the meaning of these words. 

After the Asperges, the priest was soon praying the prayers at the foot of the altar but this confused me. Why isn't he facing me?  Why pray quietly? Isn't it rude to talk to someone with their back to them and so they can't understand. I was confused and didn't understand why. 

A few moments later I was suddenly struck by an epiphany. The prayers of the Mass aren't addressed to me. They're addressed to God. I realised that prayer is about lifting our hearts and minds (and sometimes voices) to the Father and not just chatting with friends. For the first time in my life, I grasped a reality. God is real. Prayer is real.  

I looked at the meaning of the words that the priest and servers were praying and looked again at the altar. The priest was bowing low for the confiteor and this alone struck me that he isn't a celebrity up on a pedestal but someone who himself realises his faults and failings. 

The Kyrie in Greek soon drew me into a sense of my own sinfulness and the Gloria that followed delighted me. It struck me that something is different. Everyone was singing. Unlike most Masses where the choir and a few others would join in and the rest of us looked on in boredom, no one was sitting in silence. 

During the readings, I followed the meanings in a Missal that belonged to my parents and was able to follow these without a problem. 

The singing of the creed transformed something that usually seemed to me a set of words to get through to a powerful experience of celebrating our faith. When everyone fell to their knees at the Incarnatus and later during the last Gospel I was reminded of the centrality of the incarnation with gratitude and wonder. 

The Canon of the Mass prayed in silence was something I wasn't used to. I followed most of it in the Missal but what struck me was the consecration. The moment the priest whispered the words that brings God to the altar, he fell to his knees in adoration - before and after he raised the host and chalice high. 

The experience of receiving Holy Communion on my knees and kneeling alongside other people side by side actually reinforced to me two things: we are receiving Christ - body, bloody, soul and divinity; secondly the communion of the saints - we are part of the Body of Christ - seeing my fellow Catholics either side of me receiving the sacred Host

In all my attendance at my first Latin Mass gave me a deeper insight into who Christ is, the wonder of the incarnation and the majestic beauty and power of the Eucharist and a reminder that Mass isn't something childish but something that it is ancient, majestic and unites us not only to Christ but to the Communion of Saints - those living and those triumphant in heaven. 

Sunshine award

I was delighted to hear that I was awarded the Sunshine Blog award from both Jackie Parkes and Richard Collins. 

One of my duties shall be to nominate ten other blogs which I shall do in a few days time. My other solemn duty to share ten things about myself on this blog. This doesn't come easy to me but here goes:

1.  I believe and profess all that the holy Catholic Church teaches, believes and proclaims to be revealed by God.  

2. I am a sinner, aware of my need for God's grace and wouldn't go more than a week without Confession if possible and receive the Eucharist several times a month. 

3.  I have a beautiful, loving and patient wife who encourages me to be the man I am and respects me as the head of our family under Christ. I am passionately in love with this woman, my best friend, and mother of my young son. 

4.  I'm not entirely sure who reads this blog and always appreciate feedback but made two choices: never to give my name and to refrain from needlessly criticising any other person. I hope to share thoughts, amuse and possibly inspire other people - not bring them down. 

5.  I'm an Englishman whose lived in two foreign countries: Wales and Hong Kong (where I grew in appreciation of English traditions, rugby and cricket respectively) and have been fortunate enough to have worked in and / or visited five continents and ovee 50 countries including the Holy Land and what is left of the Papal States. 

6.  Although born in the 1970s, I feel more at home worshipping at a (Tridentine) Latin Mass and once had various internet trolls threatening to have me burnt at the stake as a heretic when I wrote a spoof article wanting a more meaningful liturgy and concluding that the old rite is what is needed. Sadly, Damian Thompson, removed the death threats from the blog, which I rather enjoyed. 

7. I was once threatened with excommunication by Cardinal Basil Hume when I told him that I hoped Anglican prayers would be more efficacious for about 90 minutes when it had been reported that he and the ArchMinister of Canterbury were to attend the FA Cup final together cheering and praying for Newcastle and Arsenal respectively. 

8.  I spent a year as a seminarian and later a year as a novice monk at Ampleforth. Although neither were to be my vocation I treasure those times and the friends I made at each. I should pray for vocations more often than I do. 

9.  I was once hugged by a lady Anglican minister who was concerned that I wouldn't like her because she's a woman and I reassured her that I believe that her ordination is just as valid as her male counterparts. 

10. I believe in genuine ecumenism, but it has to based on the highest, not the lowest, common denominator. Anglican, Protestant and Orthodox friends have all encouraged me in my faith and despite being a Papist and a layman, have spoken at several Protestant churches in Hong Kong. I prefer faithful non Catholic Christians who genuinely seek God and to liberal Catholics who water down the faith any day.